A Collection of Joy

My husband has always mocked me for being a collector.  It’s true. I collect things.  And, I’ll admit, some of my collections do nothing for my “cool” factor.  For instance, not many people respect a clown collection.  And even though most people had a rock collection at some point in their lives, I’ll admit that mine may have been one of the few where each rock was labeled with his/her own name….

Since childhood, my collections have changed.  I have less things laying around, but I am obsessed with collecting  less tangible things; such as memories.  While the memories themselves are intangible, I am also a big fan of collecting ways to make them more concrete; more tangible.  The number of pictures that I have taken of my children, for instance, is just a tad bit embarrassing.  But when I look back at the things I have done over the years, I have never regretted taking too many pictures.  And there have been a few times, where I have regretted not taking enough.

I started this blog as a place to collect moments of joy…so that I could return to them when I needed a reminder of  all the joy I have found in my journey; and to challenge myself to keep collecting moments of joy rather than passing them by in the self-centered oblivion that we all fall victim to from time to time.

One of my greatest sources of joy is my children.  My boys are a constant source of sleep-deprivation, challenge, exhaustion, worry, and PURE JOY.  But even before my boys were born, I had hundreds of children go through my classroom over the years who also brought me joy.  And then there is my little brother; who has been a great source of joy to me and my family from the moment he was born.  Children are wonderful.

Children are challenging and exhausting; and wonderful.  They are FULL of honesty and insight, and as an elementary school teacher, I can assure you that little goes unnoticed by a child.  Children know MUCH about what goes on at their homes, and they aren’t afraid to share what they know.  Just this year, I had a first grader tell me that I could call his mom on her cell phone because: “She never goes to work.  She just shops all day and spends my dad’s money.”

I’m serious.  You can’t make this stuff up.

Earlier this week, I pulled a student aside to have a conversation about a situation that had happened earlier in the day.  While I will spare you the details, I will share that when asked what had happened, his opening statement was: “Well, I was over by Daisy because she didn’t think I was a werewolf.  See? I was showing Daisy my werewolf moves.  You know, because I’m a real werewolf…”

Again.  I’m serious.  You can’t make this stuff up.

As I suppressed my giggles, and summoned all my teacher-strength to maintain a straight face; I thought about the joy his ridiculous proclamation brought me. And I realized that it was time for me to be a better steward of these amazing moments of joy that have been given to me.  This blog is perfect for reflection about my quest for finding joy in my journey, but I need a place to capture those daily one-liners that the children in my life so freely give.

So the next time I find joy in something my three-year-old says or in a ridiculous statement that a first grader of mine declares, I am going to collect them carefully in a new place: in my kid-speak treasury.  You are welcome to read, to laugh, to enjoy, to share…and you can let me know if there is a great kid-speak moment that needs to be remembered there that hasn’t been already.  Kid’s say funny things.  But they also say insightful things that will challenge your perspectives and will challenge you to be a better you.  So this is a place where I can collect those kid-speak moments and allow myself  to be challenged by the honesty and insight that they bring.

My brother and Keilan...just two of the "kids" that make my life sweet!

My brother and Keilan… two of the amazing “kids” that make my life sweet!

Opportunities Given and Hugs Received

I believe that joy is found in the journey; not just in the destinations. And what makes that joy along the way so great is that sometimes we find it in places where we least expect it, and at times when we aren’t necessarily experiencing joy’s conditional counterpart, happiness.

Friday afternoon, I received a, “Just thought you should know,” text from my childcare provider; warning me that Keilan had been coughing and sneezing all afternoon.  He seemed ok when I went to pick him up.  But he slept all the way home, and after I carried him in the house, he didn’t want to move from his daddy’s lap. Before dinner, I realized that he had a low-grade fever and by the next morning, he was undeniably “sick.”  In fact, he spent most of the weekend crying. He laid on the couch silently sobbing, occasionally calling out: “Mommy, I no feeling so well.”  And, “Mommy, help!  Why you not making me feel better?”  It has been a long weekend.  Which brings me to that joy that finds you in those moments that are not particularly happy…

My Little Man <3 So Miserable... But Still So Cute

My Little Man ❤
So Miserable…
But Still So Cute

Last night, Patrick and I were planning to go out with friends.  I had my sister lined up to watch the boys.  I was definitely looking forward to a night out.  A night out would have made me happy.  But I sent Patrick out instead, rocked Kai to sleep for the night, and hunkered down with my three-year-old guy for a long night of anything-I-can-do-to-make-Keilan-feel-better.  And there we were.  I felt some joy, even as I sent Patrick on his way, at the opportunity I have been given to be “Mom:” to be the one that Keilan would inevitably cry for and to be the one who just might be able to bring him some comfort simply by being there with him.  But don’t get me wrong, I was also very disappointed to be missing out on time with friends. And I was exhausted.

My little guy cried and cried and cried. He finally fell asleep, but his sleep was fitful and only lasted for an hour.  When he woke up, his temperature was high and he shivered violently, crying inconsolably.  I fought back tears of my own as I would have done anything to make my little man feel better; this was not a happy time. And then, right there, in the middle of all that sadness; joy.  As I helped Keilan get dressed after a quick, cooling bath, he threw his arms around my neck, and whispered: “I wuv you, Momma.”  His sweet, unsolicited proclamation of love took me by surprise, and I returned his hug with a heartfelt: “I love you too, Baby.”  And then, he squeezed me a little tighter and began singing, “I wuv you. You wuv me. We’re a happy family…” and then he trailed off with a sigh; placing his head on my shoulder.  And there it was: joy.  I didn’t make it out with my friends, I was (and still am!) utterly exhausted from sleep lost the last two nights, and it was devastating to see my little man so miserable.  However, in that moment, I found joy in my journey.

There might be more to say, and more to think, but for now…I am just embracing that moment of joy in a weekend that was not-so-fun.  I am grateful for the opportunity to be Mom.  I will treasure that late-night moment of love that I shared with my little man.  And I will continue to search for joy in my journey; in gratitude for opportunities given and hugs received.

Sunday Night Trip to Urgent Care: Big Yawn and a Double Ear Infection

Sunday Night Trip to Urgent Care:
Big Yawn and a Double Ear Infection