But the greatest of these…

Kai is my snuggle bug. He is quick with a hug, a squeeze, a kiss on the cheek. So when I put him to bed tonight, I offered to snuggle next to him for a few minutes. He has a number of blankets and “fluffy toys” that he gets “cozy” with each night. But tonight, after a few minutes with his cozy friends, he emerged from him nest and climbed up on top of me: enveloping me in a 2-year-old sized bear hug, a snuggle, and a mumbled, “Love you so much.”

My heart. ❤️

He laid there for a few minutes with his head on my chest; his arms and legs wrapped around me. And just as I was about to transfer him back to his nest, he picked up his head and whispered, “Momma, you’re the best girl ever,” before nuzzling back in and kissing my neck.

As he burrowed back into his cozy little nest of blankets and “fluffy” friends, I thought my heart might burst. And I found myself trying to mentally “capture” the moment. I thought about all the ways my boys bring joy to my journey: to our everyday adventures. And then I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” And, please don’t fault me for over simplifying the significance of this passage, but in that moment I felt the greatness of love.

Love

One of my little man’s go-to phrases these days has been, “But, Momma, I just need…YOU!”

And love brings joy to the journey. I know this because a few months ago, my littlest man WOULDN’T GO TO SLEEP. I was nearly ready to cry from exhaustion and frustration, and so I determined I would put on my pajamas, brush my teeth, and stick him in bed next to me. However, Kai, had no intentions of letting me out of his sight. As he followed me into the bathroom, I felt my frustration rise. But then my frustration melted away as I heard his plea: “Momma, I watch you brush your teeth?” and saw those sweet little eyes looking up at me. How can frustration win in the face of such adoration: such love? So instead of going to bed cranky, I went to bed feeling love; finding joy in my journey again.

Being a parent is exhausting. Most of the time, I’m pretty sure being a human is exhausting. 😉 But I believe that holding on to love, and leaning on the One who gives us the gift of perfect love, helps us to find joy in our journey again: even if we are searching through blurry, sleep-deprived eyes.

Finding Joy in Having Someone to Disagree With

My brother-in-law recently got engaged to a woman whom he has been  in a relationship with for two years.  The “trick” to their relationship is that they have only been in each other’s presence for a grand total of three weeks over the course of those two years, as she has been living on the other side of the world; limiting conversations to email, phone, and Skype.  Just over a week ago, we were able to be at the airport for her much anticipated arrival: welcoming her into the country and into our family.

This week, we were able to share in a special dinner with my brother-in-law and new sister-in-law, and it was a wonderful time.  My boys are already very much in approval of this new aunt who is not only sweet and loving but also comes baring toy cars and candy.  As we cleaned up after dinner, my brother-in-law told me I could put one of the dishes in the kitchen; which I did.  However, my sister-in-law had a different plan. As soon as I entered the kitchen with the dish, she picked it up and carried it right back into the living room.  With a smile and a wink, I teased my brother-in-law: “You were wrong.”  He assured me that he has been wrong “a lot” in the last two weeks since her arrival, and that he didn’t mind it one bit.  “In fact,” he said with a smile, “I kinda like it.”

I am glad for the joy that my brother-in-law has found in his new wife, and I also find his joy to be profound.  How often do we find joy in being wrong?  Yes, they are newlyweds.  There will come a time when it will be less enjoyable to be wrong. But how wonderful it is when you value someone else’s presence so much that even disagreeing with them is made wonderful by the sole fact that they are there to disagree with.

My two-year old has recently begun saying “Thank you.”  I have been anxiously awaiting the addition of this phrase into his vocabulary, and I have celebrated each time he offers an adorable, “Sanks, Momma!” or “Tank Ew!”  Earlier this week, I asked Keilan to put his diaper in the garbage, and with his sweetest voice and most winsome grin, he offered a cheerful, “Ummm, no sanks!” Before bouncing away.  Catching me off guard, I needed a moment to form my response, and before I was able to say anything, he bounced right back, picked it up, and threw it away.  That time, I had no need for frustration, as he ultimately did what I had asked.  However, I was reminded of how I could find joy, even in defiance, when I looked at that adorable face.

I know a number of moms right now who are forced to be without their babies for one reason or another, and I get to live life with mine. I am blessed.  There are so many who would give anything to hear a defiant, little, “No sanks!” And just as my brother-in-law is experiencing the joys of “being wrong” with his new wife, I can choose to find joy even in those moments when my two-year old is refusing to join us for dinner and my two-month old is joining in with his own wails of complaint.  It might be loud, I might be “wrong,” but there are still so many reasons to find joy.

Keilan in Corner

My little man: even when he is melting down, he still melts my heart.