Tag Archives: two-year-olds

But the greatest of these…

Kai is my snuggle bug. He is quick with a hug, a squeeze, a kiss on the cheek. So when I put him to bed tonight, I offered to snuggle next to him for a few minutes. He has a number of blankets and “fluffy toys” that he gets “cozy” with each night. But tonight, after a few minutes with his cozy friends, he emerged from him nest and climbed up on top of me: enveloping me in a 2-year-old sized bear hug, a snuggle, and a mumbled, “Love you so much.”

My heart. ❤️

He laid there for a few minutes with his head on my chest; his arms and legs wrapped around me. And just as I was about to transfer him back to his nest, he picked up his head and whispered, “Momma, you’re the best girl ever,” before nuzzling back in and kissing my neck.

As he burrowed back into his cozy little nest of blankets and “fluffy” friends, I thought my heart might burst. And I found myself trying to mentally “capture” the moment. I thought about all the ways my boys bring joy to my journey: to our everyday adventures. And then I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” And, please don’t fault me for over simplifying the significance of this passage, but in that moment I felt the greatness of love.

Love

One of my little man’s go-to phrases these days has been, “But, Momma, I just need…YOU!”

And love brings joy to the journey. I know this because a few months ago, my littlest man WOULDN’T GO TO SLEEP. I was nearly ready to cry from exhaustion and frustration, and so I determined I would put on my pajamas, brush my teeth, and stick him in bed next to me. However, Kai, had no intentions of letting me out of his sight. As he followed me into the bathroom, I felt my frustration rise. But then my frustration melted away as I heard his plea: “Momma, I watch you brush your teeth?” and saw those sweet little eyes looking up at me. How can frustration win in the face of such adoration: such love? So instead of going to bed cranky, I went to bed feeling love; finding joy in my journey again.

Being a parent is exhausting. Most of the time, I’m pretty sure being a human is exhausting. 😉 But I believe that holding on to love, and leaning on the One who gives us the gift of perfect love, helps us to find joy in our journey again: even if we are searching through blurry, sleep-deprived eyes.

The Power of Perception

Life with an almost-three year old and a soon-to-be-one year old is exhausting. Life as a first grade teacher can be pretty arduous as well.  However, living life with all these little people has taught me a lot about perspective and has challenged me to remember how frequently I am wrong…and how great being wrong can be.

A few weeks ago, I gave my students a math task, and as they set to work, I reminded them to: “Show your thinking.”  We have been practicing this for weeks: I have modeled how to “show your thinking” through equations, simple math drawings, etc. and my students have had many opportunities to practice these skills as well.  However, my students are still six and seven year olds sitting with white boards in their hands, and the temptation to use this time for “free choice” drawing is often still more than they can bear.

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This particular day, I happened to notice a student drawing a self-portrait on her white board rather than settling in to the task at hand.  I approached her and attempted to redirect her with a simple: “Remember, we are doing our math work now.”  She briefly met my eyes with a somewhat questioning expression and then silently got back to work on her drawing.  I could feel my frustration rise as I tried again: “It isn’t time to be drawing pictures now. We are doing our math work.”  She looked up again, and this time she audibly questioned me: “But teacher; you said to show your thinking?”  I was ready with a standard, “Yes, and we need to be doing that right now. Where is your equation?” but as I opened with a, “Yes…” I caught myself, and quickly fell silent, as I actually took the time to see what she had been drawing on her board.  There on her self-portrait, she had erased the spot where her white board hair had once been, and she was busy writing in just exactly what she was thinking.  While I had been busy reminding her to show her thinking, that’s exactly what she had been trying to do. Granted, she wasn’t using one of the methods we had practiced, but she was, in the most literal way possible, illustrating for me just exactly what her thinking “looked” like.  I managed to acknowledge her thinking, and hopefully validate it too, before giving the whole class a reminder as to what, “Show your thinking,” means in our classroom.

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I’m grateful for moments like that with my students. Sometimes it is good to be reminded of just how wrong I can be; even when I’m certain that I’m “right.”  I think that’s the power of perception: sometimes I take comfort in knowing that my perception of any situation doesn’t tell the whole story.

The year after Patrick and I were married, we both worked long days, and we often didn’t see each other until late at night. After one particularly long December day, we decided that we were going to set aside our exhaustion and decorate a Christmas tree.  Though we didn’t have much money to spend on our decorating endeavor, we were determined as we set out in search of the “perfect” tree. We ended up at the only store still open, and we bought the cheapest tree we could find: a $20 artificial tree from Wal-Mart.  Needless to say, this was no winsome pine; and from the beginning we made fun of our silly, bargain tree.  But as we assembled and decorated our tree, it made our first apartment feel even more like a home as we celebrated our first Christmas together.  When our second Christmas rolled around, we decided that we needed to keep our silly tree another year. But as we decorated; we dreamed about, and planned for, the  grand tree we would one day afford.

Last week, we pulled out that same bargain tree and began decorating it again.  This is the 12th time we have decorated our silly tree, and each year we continue to dream about the day when we can justify purchasing a new one.  This year we laughed extra hard as we traumatized our poor two-year old with this “pretend tree” that we pulled out of its box and began to assemble.  Though he was skeptical at first, as he “helped” us assemble the tree, his appreciation for the tree appeared to grow as his excitement for Christmas swelled.  He sat by the tree with his little brother sharing, in the way that only a two-year old can, about all of the wonders that this tree would soon hold.

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He bounced all over the living room as we placed our star on the top of the tree. I had wanted to buy a new one because I knew the “star on top” was a big deal to his two-year-old heart, but we couldn’t afford one this year and he quickly accepted our old, tacky topper as the perfect star for the top. I gratefully acknowledged that Keilan’s excitement for Christmas allowed him to overlook the flaws of our “tend tree;” even while his dad and I tried to strategically place lights and ornaments to create the illusion of a full, verdurous tree.

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A few days after putting up our tree, I noticed that the giant Christmas tree was lit in front of the shopping mall near our home, and I suggested that we drive by to give Keilan a thrill.  We were not disappointed in our son’s reaction; his giggles and shouting showed his wonder at the brilliance and height of the tree. And as I turned around to catch his expression, I asked, “Isn’t it beautiful?!?”

I, myself, was impressed by the beauty and height of the tree, and I was shocked by his answer: “No, mom. The big, mall tree is not my favorite tree.”

“It’s not?” I asked, while scanning the other tress that twinkled around the tall center tree, “Which tree is your favorite?”

“My beautiful star tree. The tree at Kei’s house.” was his earnest reply. And I, once again, was challenged by the power of perception.  That old tree of ours is no longer just a silly, cheap tree.  Patrick and I were wrong; that tree has great value because it is “ours.”  A few tears caught in my throat as I heard the sweetness of his voice and considered his thoughtful answer.  What a relief that the best we had to offer was the stuff his Christmas dreams were made of; for him, our tree was perfection, and it was his “favorite.”

How often do we hesitate to offer what we have because we assume that it can’t possibly be enough?  And how powerful would it be if we could only keep reminding ourselves of how often our perceptions are “wrong.”  And maybe when a situation feels a bit hopeless or things are starting to feel “off-task,” we need to remember that we are only seeing things with a limited perception: our own. So, today I will find joy in my journey by accepting that very often my perceptions are “wrong” and by choosing to accept the perception of “hope” instead.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

 

A healthy dose of laughter

Keilan has a straw hat that he loves to wear around the house. It is far too small. But he must find a certain pride in wearing it because every time I put it away, he pulls it out again. And each time, with a winsome grin, he plops it on his head and shouts a hearty, “Yee Haw!”

Keilan found his hat again today, and after a few whoops and circles run around the living room, he plopped down on the floor next to Logan, our 8 year old poshie (pomeranian & sheltie mix).  Logan has been a good big sister to both our little guys, and she is quite tolerant of their antics; so she simply gave Keilan a glance that was only a touch more than apathetic and looked the other way.

As Logan looked away, I saw something happen. I saw an idea dawn and excitement spread across Keilan’s face. In one swift motion, he lifted the hat from his head and landed it on Logan’s.  Being the patient pooch that she is, she gave him an indignant look; but made no effort to move. Keilan took one look at Logan and began to laugh.  It was a wonderful laugh that came from the pit of his belly, and it rolled out of him until he began to roll on the floor; simply beside himself with this wonderful new joke that he had played.  Although I joined in with his contagious laughter until tears ran down my face, I did eventually rescue Logan, and Keilan was devastated. But only momentarily.

Just as quickly as his first idea had dawned, the second seemed to leap to his mind as well, and he leapt off the floor and over toward his four-month-old brother.  The straw hat landed on Kai’s head, who wobbled as only a four-month-old can, and he grinned up at his big brother.  Keilan met his grin by doubling over with the most genuine of laughter, stemming from the most genuine type of delight.

I think, in that moment, Keilan learned something about telling a joke, about manipulating his world in such a way that it brings laughter and joy.

As I attempted to protect the head of my four month old, without destroying the excitement of my two year old, I became his next victim.  I saw the gleam build in his eyes as he contemplated how this joke had been funny on both the dog and on his brother; and how it would surely be equally hilarious on his mom.  As the hat landed on my head, he landed on the floor; once again, beside himself with the joy of the moment.  What was fabulous about this laugh was that it was not the canned laughter that comes after a terrible joke on late night television: this was the real thing, straight from the pit of a two-year-old’s tummy.

To be honest, much about today was less than awesome.  Both boys had difficulty sleeping last night; which meant I started the day feeling tired. We were without electricity for about 6 hours today; which meant meal prep was difficult, the laundry had to wait, I couldn’t make a pot of coffee, and my phone went uncharged. Patrick worked at both his jobs today so it was just me and my guys from breakfast until bedtime without Dad around to help. This evening was spent with my in-laws, who had power, but are struggling to make it through each day as my mother-in-law creeps closer and closer to the end of her horrific battle with ALS.

Some days are challenging, and today was just one of those days.  Don’t get me wrong; the day had some good points too, but overall, I’d only give this day a 5 on a 10 point scale of awesomeness.

However, as I remember today, I will choose to call to mind that silly straw hat and my baby boy’s full-bodied, belly laugh rather than the not-so-awesome stuff.  Proverbs 17: 22, says that “Laughter does good, like a medicine,” and today I got a healthy dose. The journey isn’t always joyful, but there will always be joy in the journey. And today, that joy was in my little man’s laugh.

I was too busy enjoying the moment to get a recording of that amazing laughter, but I was fast enough to capture a few pics of Kei's handiwork...and hours later, the picture of us wearing his hat still made him double over with laughter :)

I was too busy enjoying the moment to get a recording of that amazing laughter, but I was fast enough to capture a few pics of Kei’s handiwork…and hours later, the picture of us wearing his hat still made him double over with laughter 🙂

This time, joy was at the zoo

Yesterday I had very good, responsible intentions of venturing out with my little men to get groceries.  However, as I buckled Keilan into his carseat, he asked (as he does at least 20 times every day), “Mom, we go to the zoo?” and my responsible resolve began to dissipate.

My indecision grew as I could not think of a reason why we couldn’t go to the zoo other than, “No. We’re going to get groceries.” or “No. Normal people don’t just go on spontaneous zoo outings.”

We live five minutes from a fabulous, free zoo.  I am blessed to be home with my boys this year.  I am blessed to be living life with a two-year old boy who loves the zoo.  Both boys were already buckled into their carseats…

As I weighed the original purpose for our outing against the request of my enthusiastic, young passenger; I headed away from the store and towards the zoo.

Yesterday joy was in “why not.” It was in spontaneity. And it was in my attempt to provide a joyful experience for my little boy.

We were only at the zoo for an hour.  We didn’t see all the exhibits, and we didn’t follow my usual route at the zoo.  As we entered, Keilan excitedly requested to see, “The baff!” (which is Keilan-ese for ‘giraffe’) because, “It’s tall!” and he raised his hand up over his head so I would understand the heights of this favorite animal.  I understood, and we walked past all the other exhibits in search of giraffes.  We left the “baff” to find a “Yuum!” (which rhymes with ‘room’ and is apparently the sound a tiger makes), and we meandered through a few other exhibits; finishing off our outing with the “Fish! Fish!” and “Ah, ah’s” (yes, those are the monkeys).

Yesterday joy was in a spontaneous trip to the zoo.  It was in foregoing the “usual” and even the “responsible” for a special time with my boys.  Getting groceries and napping on schedule would have been nice, but nothing beats holding the hand of a two-year old who can’t stop raving about the heights of a “baff” as he jumps along like an “Ah ah!”  We’ll get groceries later, and there will be joy in that too; but this time, joy was at the zoo.

This time, joy was at the zoo

Joy: 15¢/bag

When it comes to language, I’m a bit of a nerd.  I appreciate the multiple facets that any given word can have.  Take, for instance, the word “joy.” The first definition of “joy,” as listed by Merriam Webster, encompasses a fairly broad range of emotions and situations: “The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.”  I am comfortable with finding “joy” in my journey because it is bigger than simply desiring to be happy all the time.  I feel it encompasses feelings broader than happiness: feelings of contentment, pride, excitement, and accomplishment.

However, I also think it is important to look for joy as Merriam Webster’s third definition defines it: “A source or cause of delight.”  Because while finding joy might not always result in feeling happy, I feel we must not overlook sources of delight in our daily journeys either.  For example, last week I found that you can purchase joy at Target for just 15¢/bag.

After Easter this year, I decided to buy a few bags of easter grass when it was 70% off.  I figured that a bag of easter grass would provide me and Keilan with a fun, and inexpensive, activity to do together some afternoon.  After all, what two-year old doesn’t enjoy having something new to explore?  So a few days later I dumped two bags of easter grass and some magnetic letters into a plastic bin and gave it to Keilan. He immediately found this to be a “source of delight.” As he searched through the grass, the look on his face was evidence that he was experiencing joy, as Webster’s student dictionary defines it: a feeling of great pleasure or happiness. And I found great joy in his.

Later, I was struck by the simplicity of that easter grass.  It wasn’t anything terribly special.  It certainly didn’t have a high monetary value. And yet, it was a source of delight. I did not go to the store looking to purchase joy; but when I experienced this simple thing through the eyes of a child, joy was what I found.

It is easy to feel that we would experience greater joy if we had more money, if we had more vacation time, if we could travel to far off places, etc. However, I think the secret to possessing more joy isn’t in gaining things we don’t have but in appreciating the sources of joy that we already possess.  This time I purchased joy for 15¢/bag, but the joy didn’t come from my extravagant purchase.  It came in appreciating something ordinary as something more.

So, as I continue on my quest to find joy in my journey, I might not always be blissful.  However, I can strive to appreciate the things I have. I can stop coveting things I do not possess. I can see things through the wonder-filled eyes of a child. And if I am on the look out for “sources of delight,” in everyday experiences, I might find myself residing in yet another facet of “joy” just a bit more often: experiencing a sweet “state of happiness” as I journey along.

Joy: 15¢/bag